d3c1s1ons......

Tim3 Stop pls .. i really hate the time tick tock tick tock continue run away ,as the time in  malaysia bcm less n less n less ed .. i really dun wan  to leave my lovely home to sucky india .. gosh .. i really wish there is a time machine for me to control evything, during exam time , hope the time wil slow, time wil fly when in india , n time wil stop when i m in malaysia..gosh .. i really dun wish to go india .. eventhough this is my final decision .. study in india.. once again , to reitirate my cowardness ?thinking y i m studying in india instead of iMU ...jz bcs i m scare that i cant score well in imu n cant get into aussie to further my study sys... until now i stil dun hav the gut to study in IMU ,  i m tryin.. bt i cant .. .i think i equip all the quality , just dun hav the braveness n oso mayb the intelligent? clueless ... to be honest, studyin in india hav been increase my courageness for facing the death or injury ?sometimes i really thinking of instead of goin to india, i can jz go ahead n bang a car to meet an accident,den i can no nid to go india? or either jz hav war  in india or watever , so that can stop me from goin to india.. since i were born ,  i dun hav the mind of tat until now .. thinking of avoiding india... when i go to india, i think i will be fated to be single forever? lonely little dentist ba ... or wat so  ever...today i went for hair cutting n i was expecting ccb to call me during the journey, but end up .. mayb he forgot or watever, n i sms n remind him bt yet d same .. mayb i dun deserve the best frenship ?or the way i treat him is really cant deserve for that ? i have no idea at all....lol ..now  i have less true best frens left,ccb ,ks,  hun wei , danny,sc ... oh shit ...i even can count wif my silly fingers now..looks how failure m i ... i was shitty boring  n lonely for whole day ... went for hair cut n tat's all for today activity... the time stay in PG lesser , the more u hope to stay in home n enjoying d home cook.. i oso duno y ... i really home sick or mayb i not suitable for going ovaseas n study? 

argh... besides tat , i have realise some stuff .. u mz b able to do it before u can advise ppl .. bt the things is i can advise ppl to do tis do tat , but me myself , fail to do it at all ... to b optimistic ?but myself keep on pessimistic now ...why ?no idea, really hope tat i can restart my damn weird life n hav a normal life again? somebody please help me ... i really need someone to direct me to the correct way? furthermore, i oso discover one stuff...there r two type of laugh, one is laugh from ur true heart , another one is laugh when u think of laughing..is it a bit weird theory .. maybe it jz apply on me .. the 1st  type is whenever u laugh, u will release all the stress n wil be very happy after that , the 2nd one is jz laugh n hav no effect ,just like a normal laugh.. n wont chill u up ... n i think i m always having the 2nd one .. the surface laugh? laugh bcs u were thinking of laugh...maybe ...i have no idea thou......lol, now jz hope that i can enjoy my one las trip b4 i leave 

about the decision , i think i have been always doing the wrong decision for this year ... the 1st one is study dentistry in india , 2nd one is buying omnia  n so on ... stl have a lot bt lazy to mention it .. afta experiencing the decision , i jz regret on them , but wat to do ...gosh ....how can i change my india study? how how ?eventhough my mom asking me to imu , but i gutless...haihz 

after having omnia, i jz realise that , omnia wasnt as goood as wat i think , instead . it really sux... gosh.. d only good stuff is have big bigspace for me to keep stuff .. err... i hate the cable , the samsung widget which cant edit, gps which i duno how to decode it n bla bla bla bla .....since i ed hav  it as my birthday prezzie , i cant do anything beside hav to endure n use it ...

i have been learning a lot of endurance this year ... from my ex....frm my LOUSY  DECISIONS ... n wat so ever la ...

sigh , there is a conflict in myself thou, sometimes really dun hope ppl to read my blog , but sometimes i really hope to show......really confusing la ... gosh...someone pls help me to calm my mind off .. pls ......

afta thinking much about some stuff , u will fear to do it thou...thinking deeply , u will be choosing instead of risky or might hurts someone but might gain lots of advantage ...u will choose something less risky less hurting ppl  but suffering.. i wonder which one i shd go for it? shd go with wat THE ROAD NOT TAKEN preach ?.... sigh .....

anyway , do hope can enjoy the momment while stil able...