GuiLTiNess N CHANGED

I think i had done the worst stuff in my life ..Bro if u read my blog .. pls dun tell mom or dad...... i lied to them that i didnt buy that bike bt actually i bought it ....i really cant endure it... i have been wasting my time, few days for searching a good bike .i said that if i failed to find a good bike on today, i wont b finding bike until my uni end ... bcs i knew afta tat i will b very busy with all the bucking up works or study ......AND end up, i bought it .....actually ,if nt finding bike, i was gonna used those time for my sliping so that i can burn midnitez oil bt end up i fail jor ...n i failed to study for that few days..... i duno why, once i eager to owe it , i really hope to buy it ... if not i wont be comfortable with myself ...I M REALLY SORRY MOM and DAD ... i really feel guilty by buying it ...eventhough those money was cut from my daily expenses ...i really scare that one day the bike will spoil, or nid to repair lots of stuff  or even worse if i meet accident .... since i nt really know how to ride it....now i getting better since my fren taught me ...I m sorry ... in malaysia , they not even allow me to sit on frens bike bt now ... i bought the bike n i ride on it ... OMG , even worse.... now i m really guilty with what i had done ...actually i think i had impulsive decision ,bcs i straight buy that bike once i inspected n tested it for 1 hours ++++ .....i really hope it is a good n well bike....it only 11K km  for the mileage n oso kinda new....is year 2006... sigh .. the only thing i can do is just pray hard that the bike n i will be safe for this five years 

and oso get a good reason so that can cover it or bluff over them :( 

p/s:  actually now they a little  bit agree me to get the bike , but is not from the 2nd hand dealer, they scare that they will bluff us .... my parents wan me to get it from my senior .. but wait until they planning to sell ... i m bz studying ed .. n yet ...most of their bike was 02 /03  bikes ... is kinda old for me ....n yet is modified :( ..... sorry for havin such impulsive decision .. haihz .. .now i have to live in a guilty n fear life ..... TT

For my study .. i m really left behind a lot d ... i think i nid to start study study study study worse than a study nerd ed .... i havent revise any material that were taught after exam b4 my long vacation was on .... i really know nothing bout those stuff .....gosh ... even everyday i have to cope with the latest lecture n study material , i hav nt enough time d ... i scare to fail ... i dun wan to fail .... i dun wan to be in the border line oso .. for the las exam ... almost alll  subjects i were in the border line....even now .. during lecture class , some of the stuff taught i not really can understand either ... getting more n more n more n more nervous now ... n oso sad?anyway... coffein coffein coffein ......evyday havin it now as to help on midnitez? lol..... depress.....haihz .....y hav to study dentistry ..... such a hard subject 

I think my personal characteristic hav turned bad after i came to here ....jz these few days .. i bluff my parents of the bike .... i even feeel like go n hav retalliate with the H.O.D of the dental anatomy department and oso .... i eventually smoked 1 cigarrate today ... n tat's all .... no more havin it ed ba ...... i wondering what so good bout smoking? release stress n evything? not really effective on me ...but why is it many ppl smoke/ the reason they said is bcs of exam exam exam .....sigh ......haha ... usually ppl jz will meet obstruction when in secodary school or college ... but in UNI shd b kinda smooth though ... bt y m i havin so many problems? 

after i came bac from holiday .... i realised that some of my classmate .. has changed their atttitude ... really bcm kinda scary though...stil rmb that las sem he not even bother to mix with us or jz reject us for any invitation.. but now ... he eventually volunteer to join us ... even wanna join for dinner ... what the hell he plot , usurp? lol ... no idea ....i really hard to face such ppl ... isit bcs i m too kind ? or wat? i duno .... since himself creating a wall among our relationship... y now suddenly wanna join us .. kinda weird right? n even now ... my classmate 's gang .. they start forming their small gang d ...aikz ...evything change ....luckily i  still havin my own gang = stick to myself .....carefree...i really wish i hav frens like Chor beng or Danny here la ... haihz .....maybe i jz too chooosey .. is time for me to change ba .... .besides that ... danny ... i felt he change oso .. he used to craps wif me a lots ... or either jz tell me his stuff or advise me ? bt now .. duno .. jz felt he change jor ...duno la .... haihz .. evyone change or jz myself change? or bcs cant take care myself? or nobody control me ? wont b that ba ... TT no idea .....really wish to bac to Malaysia now......lol.......haihz .....anyway ...d only thing tat i can tell myself is jz dun give up evything .....continue wif ur life happily ..........gua ?